Hiei vs Vash the Stampede
by Animefanatic-11
Summary: Hiei and Vash have a fight...about who is the better bishy! Kurama then suggests they have a better bishy contest so thats exactly what they do. Who wins and becomes the better bishy? Read to find out! Please R&R! No shonen-ai
1. The Bishy Challenge

AF11(Animefanatic-11): Hey! I was having a chat with Kurama's Loving Wife when I couldn't decide which was the better bishy, Vash or Hiei so we decided to make it a fic( my idea). Its still a hard decision. Anyways, we are taking turns to write each chapter. She is wrote this chapter and I'll write the next one.  
  
Hiei: great! Another fic. I don't have time for these!  
  
Vash: (too busy stuffing doughnuts in his mouth)   
  
Kurama: -.-U  
  
AF11: well...um....uh...great! on with the fic! I'll do the disclaimer!  
  
Disclaimer: No, we don't own Hiei and Vash and any other characters or items that relate to n e thing in this fic. Yeah, tho we wish we did!

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One day, the great and powerful, also hot, Hiei had gotten into a fight with the all so lovable and huggable Vash in the park. At first the fight started out about which was better, sweet snow or doughnuts but now it was about who was the better bishy.

"LOOK NINGEN, I AM MUCH MORE POWERFUL THEN YOU!!"

" WELL, I AM MUCH CUTER AND HUGABLE THEN YOU!!"

"Grrr.... THAT'S IT NINGEN, YOU SHALL DIE!!!"

"BRING IT ON SHORTY!!"

They jump at each other, and a large dust cloud forms.

The Trigun cat walks by and sits down in front of them, watching them.

Vash then accidentally grabbed it by the tail and pulls it in the dust cloud.

The cat gets pissed.

Several minutes later the dust vanishes and Vash and Hiei were lying on the ground, all bruised and beaten and the Trigun cat was unscratched, and it was licking itself.

Hiei was twitching madly", I detest cats."

Vash ", ouchy....."

Kurama walks by and notices them", What the.... What happened here?"

Trigun cat meows several times.

"So they were fighting, you say, about who is the better bishy?" Kurama asks.

The trigun cat nods.

Hiei looks at Kurama weirdly", How the h--- could you understand what that thing is saying?"

Kurama smiles", Because foxes and cats have a similar language."

Hiei sighs", -.-U

"But why don't you two just settle this in a much more civilized way." Kurama asks.

"Because we ain't civilized." They both respond in unison.

Kurama sighs", -.-U"

" Well, I don't give a s--- if you're civilized or not but you are not going to fight! Let's have a bishy contest instead."

Hiei cocks an eyebrow", What the h--- is that?!"

"We have a contest between you and Vash. There shall be different categories and contests and the one that wins the most of them wins." Kurama replies intelligently.

Hiei and Vash look at each other and nod "FINE!"

"The contest shall be held in one week. You have time to train during the week, but if one of you is late for the contest, the other one wins. Agreed?" Kurama asks.

Vash and Hiei nod.

Kurama smiles", Good. Then come to the Sahara desert in one week."

"Where is that?" Vash asks.

"Africa." Kurama says calmly.

"How, might I ask, do we get there?" Hiei asks.

" I dunno. Just come there within week. Sayonara." Kurama says as he walks off.

Vash and Hiei look at each other.

"I shall defeat you in front of thousands, ningen."

"Heh. I'll beat you first. And do you have any doughnuts?"

"Hn. No." Hiei says as he vanishes.

Vash shrugs", Oh well....... better go buy some doughnuts before this competition starts."

During the week, they both trained hard and intensely.

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With Vash:

Vash was sweating and breathing heavily", One... more.... must.... do.... this...."

He stuffs a doughnut into his mouth and eats it.

" I HAVE DONE IT!! I HAVE EATEN 500 DOUGHNUTS IN ONE HOUR!! I AM THE CHAMPION OF DOUGHNUTS!!!!!"

Wolfwood sighs", Shouldn't you be training?"

"I am training..... for the doughnut eating contest. And I shall be victor." Vash proudly says.

Wolfwood sighs", Why do I put up with this?"  
  
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With Hiei : 

Hiei was breathing heavily as he fought a powerful demon.

The demon grinned evily", You shall never win!"

Hiei grins evily", I already did."

"Huh?" The demon's eyes widen as his body suddenly falls apart in pieces after Hiei had sliced him up using his Katana.

Hiei walked forward and saw the item of that which he had been seeking", It's better then I thought it would be."

In front of him there was a literally a mountain of sweet snow.

Hiei jumps into the mountain and starts swimming around in it", You are finally mine. I now shall defeat that ningen in the sweet snow eating contest once I devour you."

He starts to eat the mountain of sweet snow, as the contest draws ever closer.  
  
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Hiei: Finally! Sweet relief from the two evil authors making us do this!  
  
Vash: yum doughnuts! Thx for them AF11! (eats another one)   
  
Kurama: hmmm...I cuss?  
  
AF11: well, next time it'll be my turn to write the chapter! This time KLW wrote it. Thx so much to her!  
  
KLW: (bows) thank you, thank you!  
  
Well, that's it for now. We need some ideas for events in the contests so R&R and put ur ideas in ur review. Thx so much. Next Chapter coming soon!


	2. The start of the Contest

Hiei: What? We have to do this AGAIN?  
  
Vash: O.oU um....live with it....here! have some ice cream! (gives Hiei sweet snow)  
  
Hiei: ice cream? What is this ice cream you speak of? (sees the sweet snow) YOU IDIOT! THIS IS SWEET SNOW! NOT ICE CREAM!  
  
Vash: uh.....sweet snow?  
  
Kurama: (whispers: that is what Hiei likes to call ice cream. I suggest you go along with it)  
  
Vash: U sure! Yeah, that's sweet snow!  
  
Hiei: (not listening and gulping down the sweet snow)  
  
AF11: .U I feel sick. Kurama? Would you please take my place today?  
  
Kurama: sure! Ok...well, KLW and AF11 didn't make Trigun, Yu Yu Hakusho, Inuyasha, or any other anime characters or anime related things that are present in this story.  
  
KLW: nicely put Kurama! Well...I'm off to feed AF11 some slugs! Sayonara!  
  
Vash: Do slugs taste good or something?  
  
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The day of the competition had finally came and both Vash and Hiei found ways to get to the Sahara, Vash riding on the Trigun Cat and Hiei riding on a donkey.  
  
"I didn't actually think you would show up ningen!"  
  
Vash just kept walking.  
  
"Well, be prepared to feel embarrassed and..."  
  
Hiei gave up and followed Vash to where Kurama was standing.  
  
Kurama: I'm glad to see you have both made it. I would like to introduce Kari and Hikari. They are going to judges and referees for this bishy contest."  
  
Kari: hey! How you guys doing?  
  
Hikari: Hmmm...(points at Hiei) shorter than I thought! (pointing at Vash) Hmmm....taller than I thought. Well, anyways, lets get on with it already.  
  
Yusuke: "WOOT! GO HIEI! KICK THAT STUPID VASH'S A--!!!"  
  
Kuwabara: "GO SHORTY!"  
  
Meryl: "GO GET HIM VASH!"  
  
Kuwabara: "(hearts in his eyes) Hello baby! Will you please (blushes) be my girlfriend?  
  
Meryl: -.-U "um....go away....BEFORE I SHOOT YOUR STUPID HEAD OFF!" (takes out guns)  
  
Kuwabara: .U AAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please don't hurt me please don't hurt me!!!!!  
  
Milly: heh heh.  
  
Vash: (sidles up to Kari hopelessly in love) "um....hi! you look like you need a bodyguard! You can hire me for only a kiss!"  
  
Kari: (looks at him and karate chops his hands off her arm and he goes flying 10 feet away) hmph!  
  
Now Kurama had told them all the basic rules and the first competition was going to start.  
  
Hikari: "ok you guys. The first contest is a contest to see who can hold their breath underwater the longest."  
  
Vash: "HAHAHA! I can definitely win this! Eating all those doughnuts helped me get ready!"  
  
Wolfwood: "uh...Vash, how did eating doughnuts help you train for this contest?"  
  
Hiei: "hn. So this fool likes to eat doughnuts eh?"  
  
Kari: (blows whistle) "ok start!!!!!"  
  
Both Hiei and Vash went underwater and help their breath. Then they started punching each other to make them breathe out and lose.  
  
Hiei: (voice all burbly) "hahaha! Now I shall win and you the doughnut eating fool will lose!!! Then I will become the better bishy!!!"  
  
Vash: (voice all burbly too) "ooooh. Not you've crossed a line shorty!!!! NO ONE AND I MEAN NO ONE INSULTS THE MIGHTY DOUGHNUTS!!!"  
  
Inuyasha and the group show up with some popcorn and sit down by Milly to watch.  
  
Kagome: "hey! Aren't you Milly from Trigun? I love your uh.....outfit!!"  
  
Milly: "really? You like my outfit? Thanks so much! And you are Kagome right? How are things between you and Inuyasha?"  
  
Kagome: "the usual, nothing much. But I think he is cheating on me with Kikkyo!"  
  
Milly: =O.O= (Miroku was feeling her butt)  
  
Sango: "WHAT ARE YOU DOING MIROKU?"  
  
Miroku: (hands up in the air)" nothing Sango! Nothing at all"  
  
Inuyasha: "Woah! You're the dude that died and then came alive again right? (walks up to Yusuke and starts shaking his hand vigorously) I'm a BIG fan of yours!"  
  
Yusuke: "yeah, I'm him. Dude!"  
  
Inuyasha: "dude!"  
  
Shippou: (runs away with the popcorn)  
  
Hiei and Vash are still underwater and have been for the last 100 hours.  
  
Hikari: "hey Kari, you think they are still holding their breath down there? I think they died what? 99 hours and 57 minutes ago. You think we should check?"  
  
Kari: "nah. They're probably just asleep."  
  
-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&- 500,000 hours later -&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-  
  
Hikari: "uh....Kari! KARI! (shakes Kari awake) I really think they are dead..."  
  
Kari: "huh? WHAT? THEY'RE DEAD????"  
  
Hikari: "KURAMA!!! I THINK HIEI AND VASH ARE DEAD! THEY DROWNED!!!" So Hikari, Kurama, and Kari start pulling Vash and Hiei out of the water...and they weren't breathing...  
  
Shippou: dun dun dunnnn!  
  
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KLW: woah...COOL! VASH AND HIEI AREN"T BREATHING!  
  
Hiei and Vash in unison: WE DON'T DIE DO WE?  
  
AF11: Well....MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! you shall never know until the next Chapter written by KLW!  
  
Kurama: well, I don't really mind if they die. It'll be more doughnuts and sweet snow for me   
  
Everyone stared at Kurama.  
  
Kurama: what? What did I do?  
  
AF11: well, that's it for now! R & R and please give suggestions on some other contests. Thx to KLW for writing the first chappie!  
  
C ya next time! 


End file.
